People are not always as great and amazing as they might seem at first. At one point or another, we are bound to see the person's true colors and intent. More often than not, it's not that bad, and we learn to live with our differences. However, this online thread is not dedicated to those types of stories.
After this Redditor asked, "What's the fastest you've ever gone from caring about someone to straight up loathing them?" people swarmed to share their experiences, which range from sad to absolutely bonkers. So if you're missing some drama in your life, this is the article for you. And if you have your own stories to share, please do so in the comment section below.
#1
One summer back in high school years, I had a crush on this girl and we'd hang out when we weren't working together. A friend of mine would keep insisting that I should just ask her out. So I mustered my courage and asked her out. Yeah - it was a glorious fail. I still remember when she smiled and told me the truth.That was when I found out that they had been secretly dating for a year and thought it would be a "lark" to just f**k with me.
100 to 0 in a few words and a vicious smile.
Image credits: trampoline_tester23
#2
The first girl I ever dated died unexpectedly on my then current gf and my's 3 year anniversary. My then gf stated she was pissed because my ex had "Died on purpose that day because it was our anniversary". I was utterly disgusted and it completely changed how I viewed her all together. Things fell apart shortly after and we broke up
Image credits: JudgementalChair
We asked Dr. Claudia Brumbaugh some questions about this topic, and she shared some amazing insights. We asked her if she thinks cutting people out of your life is a good thing: "When people are a negative influence on your life it might make sense for your own well-being to cut people out. For instance, Eisenkraft & Elfenbein (2010) identified 'negative affective presence' in some people. They found that certain other people accounted for 23% of the variance of one's own negative emotions.
And one's own trait affect accounted for 19% of the variance in one's own negative emotions, which means that others are just as responsible for your negative emotions as you are. This shows some people have a negative presence that affects one's own emotions in a negative way. If you keep these people in your life, they will have an ongoing negative impact on your emotional state."
#3
As fast as it took for his wife to call me at work to tell me that he was not only married, but had three children including a newborn.
Image credits: GenJonesMom
#4
My father abandoned me and my ill mother. He just, ran away.I am a single child so I had to take care of her on my own. It was hard.
I loathed him, hated him. I no longer hate him, just fogot about him. Hating someone for too long takes a heavy toll. I am grateful to have had the chance to take care of my mother and help her get well.
Image credits: Loeb123
We also wondered why people pretend to be someone else in the first place: "Because everyone basically knows what is attractive. For hetero women that is easier to know since men have more consensus in what they are looking for in a female partner (e.g., femininity, curvaceousness, seductive qualities). Women are much more variable in what they are looking for.
Also, stereotypes are partially true. Evolutionary theory provides explanations and cross-cultural data showing that men care more about beauty and youth, and women care more about status and earning power. To 'pretend,' women could do something like wear makeup to look more flawless/youthful, and men could pretend by renting a luxury car for a day.
And finally, narcissists are charming and attractive on first impression. They're not really 'pretending' though, that's just how they come off at first. Later, upon getting to know them better, their arrogance and manipulative nature often damage the relationship beyond repair."
#5
I loved (still love) playing Pokémon and I had no female friends with the same interest. Found out about this group of guys that played it after school. Got really excited and made plans with them. I waited for hours and they never showed up... next day I overhear my best childhood friend laughing about how annoying I was and that they had to hide from me to play in peace. That really hurt
Image credits: tatychann
#6
2 minutes, he pranked me by making me think he was gonna kill himself, then he got a friend to text me that he did and that I was my fault for not responding sooner. When I was having a full on panic attack and almost killing myself out of guilt he told me it was a prank and the two friends asked me if I wanted to have a threesome. (I have depression, suicidal thoughts and yes he knew that.)
Image credits: yeetyeetgirl
Doctor Claudia Brumbaugh shared if there are any telltale signs to show someone's faking: "There are many ways to be 'fake,' so that's a tough question. People are pretty good at reading others' personalities though, even within a couple of minutes. Evolutionary theorists say we have a 'cheater detection mechanism.'"
#7
When i was younger I found out one of my childhood friends was stealing from me and the friendship group. Every so often we would 'lose' a phone or Ipod then said friend would have conveniently got the same model but beat it up a bit with his initials in tipex or something stupid. Being a good friend we didnt want to believe it but we started putting distinct markings on our items. Low and behold my phone goes missing and he turns up with the same one a few weeks later with the markings. We brought him up on it but he just lost his temper and stormed off. 15 years later hes in prison for armed robbery....Edit: Obligatory 'that blew up/RIP inbox'
Image credits: Snow776
#8
friend at a bar tells some people we just met how her mother died, later in the night i express my sympathy -- now she's without parents. she'd told me hush-hush a few years prior about how father had passed."wait did i tell you back then my dad died? i thought i told you it was my mum! no, both my parents are still alive; when we were in uni **i just read in a book telling people a parent has died is an good way to get sympathy, ha ha!**"
f*****g sociopath
Image credits: redditsavedmyagain
And lastly, we wondered if it's easy to go from loving someone to absolutely hating them: "True love/attachment would be unlikely to turn to loathing quickly. Love develops over time and fosters commitment and pair-bonding. However, lust could turn to loathing since perhaps one didn't have enough time to really get to know who the person was during those early lustful days/weeks."
#9
A former friend bailed on me when we were supposed to hang out and so I called my then girlfriend to see what she was doing and I could hear him talking to her parents in the background...
Image credits: igetb0red
#10
When the guy I'd been *really* into got a little tipsy and confessed to me he'd had an affair with a married woman. Ok, he was young and it's not that uncommon when we're immature, overly emotional and idealistic and selfish.It had been off and on for 20 years.
And possibly produced 2 children.
Who they just let her husband raise no matter whose they were because Guy I'd Been Seeing "just wouldn't be a good father".
I have never, before or since, experienced such a moment of instant shock, disgust, and loathing. I was just like "Hey, thanks for telling me you're trash early on. Saved me a lot of time", left him at the restaurant and took a Lyft home.
He called me for 2 days wanting to "explain".
There would be a possible explanation for a short fling when young and dumb. There is nothing that explains THAT.
Edit, since no one can do math. The affair started when this man was in his 20s. He and I were both in our 40s when we briefly dated. Some people on Reddit are above the age of 20.
#11
My, at the time girlfriend, had a little sister. She was graduating from college, and her college was not close by. It was a few states away, and at least a 5hr drive. We both loved the sister, but we weren't going to make it to her graduation. We couldn't afford a hotel for the weekend, and we couldn't take off from work to get there on time.She FREAKED out on us. It was the biggest tantrum I've seen an adult make. My GF and I both assumed it wasn't that big of a deal, but seeing how much her sister freaked out, we re-evaluated the situation. So, we packed up quickly, and drove through the night to get there. She told us we could sleep in her apartment that night, but that we'd need to get a hotel the following night. That was fine, we found something online for like $100/night.
We got to her place in record time. It was not even midnight. We felt like heroes for making up so quickly. We get to her apartment - and she won't let us in. She says she's already in bed, and we should have gotten there earlier if we wanted to take her up on her offer. So, we're both exhausted, and we have nowhere to stay. I wanted to just turn around and go back home, but my GF was a better person than me. Luckily we had other friends in the city, and one was nice enough to give us their couches for the night.
It's been like 15 years, and I assume the sister was getting one last lay with a college hook-up, because I could not imagine any other scenario where she couldn't simply walk down 2 flights of stairs to open the door for us.
I ended up marrying the GF, and still bring up this situation anytime she gets in a fight with her sister. It's usually 'I can't believe how selfish my sister is being.' and I go 'you can't!? remember that time we drove to her college gra...' and she cuts me off. of course she also remembers it.
Image credits: Nail_Biterr
#12
Had a male bestie for more than 10 years... One night I was upset and crying cause I witnessed my friends die at the beach a few weeks earlier. He stays over to comfort me and suggests he sleep over so I wouldn't be alone.He promised he wouldn't do anything. I believed him. So he held me while I cried myself to sleep. I wake up to him fingring me... Without my consent obviously
I lost my mind. And told him off and kicked him out my house... He came nack a few days later to apologise but I was so disgusted with him I told him to f**k off and never talk to me again. I blocked him... I felt so disgusted and betrayed...
#13
When he straight up denied my existence in front of his friends.
Image credits: mornin_huhah
#14
I was doing online dating which really sucked. But, I met a guy that I really liked. I was cautious and tried to be careful and take it slow. We dated for a few months. No sex. Lots of making out, but as yet no sex. I finally felt safe enough to start thinking about sex with him. He was very good to me and I felt like we could be a good fit. So, one day he asks me to take the afternoon off and meet him for lunch. Fun! I say. So we have a lovely lunch and he asks if I'd like to get a hotel room. I was caught quite off guard by this, but eventually agreed to it. We hope to the room and things progress nicely. He's very sweet, gentle and loving. I felt very happy. We start having sex and he's on top. He starts talking to me saying how this is going to be the best revenge on his girlfriend. WTF?? I froze up. I literally froze. I couldn't move or respond or anything. I know I should have just thrown his a*s to the floor, but I was just numb. He finished his business (used a condom thank god). We got dressed and left. Never spoke to him again.#15
A co-worker was talking to me about the issues he was having with his 12 year old step-daughter. Another co-worker sitting by us asked; "have you tried raping her?". Thought he was an OK guy, but not after that line. The day he was fired was a good day.Follow up:
He had only worked there about 2 months, didn't talk much, so that was a pretty messed up first comment to a private conversation. I think (or hope) he was trying to be funny. He was fired about 9 days later, no reason was given to the rest of the crew, boss just said "Greg has been let go".
#16
Uh, I have a two-for-one deal here:Walking in on my now ex-boyfriend having sex with my ex-best friend in my own room on my birthday party.
Edit:
Since that's a lot of comments to reply to individually (I'm very sorry) , here are some FAQs answered:
It was my 19th birthday.
I did throw the bed out afterwards just because it reminded me of it daily.
When I walked in, I was shocked, told him that it's over, kicked both of them out into 2°C weather while they were still half-naked, and then did tequila shots with my other, non-a*****e friends.
I don't know what happened to them but I really don't care.
It took some time to trust people again but I'm much better now
Image credits: CichaelMlifford
#17
When he convinced his wife to kick her young kids out because they (the husband and wife) were finally having a child together. He was very open about hating his step-kids.Edit: Grammar.
Image credits: anon
#18
I worked for my step mom with the intent that I would take over the business when she retired in a few years. I took more than a 50% pay cut and left my career of 10 years of managing and leading organizations to come work for her.Those few years came and went with her unable to even talk about a timeline for retirement. I spent years trying to fix processes and procedures around the office to make her life easier and to make the general workflow easier for all employees, but she was completely resistant to any change from the status quo while simultaneously always complaining about how busy she was and how we just didn’t have any good processes in place.
I finally confronted her about her retirement timeline and putting it in writing that I would be her succession plan. She balked at even putting together a plan for her retirement. I let her know that I really couldn’t hang around if there weren’t any prospects for advancement or pay increases.
My wife secured a job in a new town and I gave my step mom a six-month notice that we would be moving. I explained that I would be more than willing to help hire and train my replacement and finish formalizing all of the procedures I had developed in my time there.
She fired me the next business day.
F**k that b***h.
Image credits: -Silverback
#19
My husband adopted my son when he was 3 after being in his life since he was 1. Gave him his last name the whole nine yards. When we had a child of our own (who was a girl) and decided we were done having kids; His mother said to me it’s a-shame we aren’t having more kids, As she would have liked someone to carry on the family name.I have only tolerated her at holidays ever since.
#20
I kinda like you."Your autism is probably caused by vaccines"
Okay, I kinda liked you ten seconds ago.
Image credits: IlPinguino93
#21
1yr friendship with this girl. I invited her over to my new apartment. She came over and wanted to gossip about her coworkers. When she paused, I tried to add in to the conversation (make a joke, give reassurance, add a comment, etc) but she would immediately raise her voice and start talking over me. I kept getting angrier every time it happened until I was actually loathing her internally. She was so self absorbed that she didn't notice I went from smiling & engaged to frowning while staring off into space. After 2+ hours of not being allowed to talk, I made up an excuse to kick her out of the apartment and then vowed to never see her again.
Image credits: to-love-a-workaholic
#22
My ex girlfriend. We were childhood sweethearts. Dated from 17 to 25. Found out she was cheating on me with her boss, who was more than twice our age.Then proceeded to find out there was many more occurrences and she was a very different person than the person I'd been dating. Shattered.
Image credits: Navaro27
#23
Talking to my then gf about her cheating on me. Explaining I couldn't ever possibly trust her again, and she replied "But do you really need to trust me?"Clearly had different ideas on what's required for a healthy relationship.
EDIT: For context. Relationship was 6 years long. We had been talking about marriage. We owned a dog together. This was the second instance of cheating. This conversation was what pushed me over the edge into the territory of self respect.
Broke up with her the next day. Much happier since.
Image credits: Jazmer1
#24
I had this teammate who was such a good athlete but he was not starting or even playing in any of our games . Naturally I was sad and curious as to why coach would hold out on playing this guyAs he was running routes and I was throwing him the football , he accidentally bumped one of our assistant helpers as coach would like to call them
Instead of apologizing , he shouted “ watch where you’re walking n***** . Damn you blind as f**k “ . Right then and there I stopped the drill and walked out
EDIT : I did not expect this to blow up and for those asking did I get in trouble , I did not the play the first drive of the game and that’s my consequence
Also for those asking if he was black or white , he was black
Image credits: Phenomenal2313
#25
My mother fought cancer for 5 years. My father let my sister and I do 95% of the work/caregiving and after her death expected us to step into her place and take care of him. The man I used to love and respect is gone and I can't stand to be around him anymore.
Image credits: LGBecca
#26
Had made some plans with the g/f at the time for Valentines-Day. This was back in late HS.Had called her on the phone a few hours before to re-confirm details, and she abruptly begged off cause supposedly her parents were going to be having a date of their own later that evening, and so she was being assigned to take care of her grandma for the day. (Her grandmother needed constant care, so it wasn’t especially unusual for one of her parents to be taking a day to stay with her). She was supposed to leave pretty early in the afternoon and be with her all evening.
So I decided that the least I could do was maybe drop off some flowers and chocolates in basket & stuff so she’d have something nice waiting when she got back. Spent a bunch of money on getting something nice, showed up at her place around 5, expecting just her parents to be there, and not only was *she* the one to answer the door, I could clearly hear both her parents chatting away in the background and there was no grandmother to be seen.
Turned out, she just didn’t have the guts to bite the bullet and properly break up with me, she was just going to keep canceling until I got the picture or something.
Image credits: Telandria
#27
When my grandfather screamed at my mother that she had ruined his life by being born. Never spoke to him again after that.
Image credits: Coogles
#28
When my best friend of 10 years slept with my boyfriend of 2 years. I was so crushed but to be honest was more angry with the friend. I truly did believe that I was deeply in love with the boyfriend but he was kind of a s**t head to begin with....I saw my friend as a sister and her betrayal left longer lasting impact and hurt way more. I hated her in a violent way for a very long time...fast forward 11 years and now I am to a point where I have forgiven her and wish her well but would never let her back into my life again.
Image credits: ForestRoos
#29
When he started being condescending to me in almost every conversation we have, in about almost every topic we talked about, then him complaining to me that some people can’t handle him having such strong opinions on topics he’s “passionate about”.
Image credits: Gabba737
#30
Found out this girl I was getting close to had been lying about her ex being a deadbeat dad and well, her ex. He wasn't just still in the picture, they lived together. I should have guessed after the third or fourth time she made an excuse to not go to her place. Never ended something so quick.
Image credits: phunkydroid
#31
Gave my roommate an envelope with a money order for bills in it, to drop in the mail. He got arrested. While looking for some of his documents to take to him I found the opened, empty envelope in his closet. Peace out.
Image credits: Source_Points
#32
My best friend back in school got a F from the teacher. Me and him asked if we can go to the toilet. I go to the toilet to text a bit with friends from other school, he goes to the parking lot and scratches the teachers car. School break and the teacher finds his car, we both get called to the director etc etc. Friend said that we both scratched the car. Í showed the teacher my phone to show him I was texting and couldnt have scratches his car, told friend to f**k off and went out.
Image credits: RicyHub
#33
In April I went on my yearly 3 day trip with my mom to Las Vegas. In that time, my ex moved out of my apartment. I found out because the landlord called, concerned I was moving. I knew nothing about it. I then called my ex, to ask what on Earth was going on, and she didn't pick up. She left furniture that im still trying to get her to take, and took s**t of mine that she won't give back. Now in stuck in an apartment I can barely afford, struggling to survive. I can't move because my rent is cheaper than anything else in my city. It's been tough. Really made me lose all respect for her.#34
When he found out my ex was black and was disgusted by that. Went from a nice guy who I could maybe see a future with to complete racist pos who I never wanted to see again.#35
Decided to get into online Dungeons and Dragons. Got in with a group who was running a homebrew delve into a mindflayer hideout.Things were going great for the first few sessions until one encounter with a mindflayer:
Player 1: "i wanna give the mindflayer headpats"
Me: "lol what?"
DM: "the ilithids tentacled faces begins to writhe in pleasure"
Player 2: "I walk over and sniff the mindflayers crotch and then wag my tail at him"
Me: "guys what the f**k lets just kill it"
DM: "the wretched beast is becoming quite aroused. He extends his boney hands"
20 minutes of extremely graphic furry sexual roleplay later I had to leave the group.
I just wanted to play D&D, man.
Edit: for those asking, I just downloaded an app off google play called mRPG. Ive been using it for awhile now and havent had any problems since!
And yes 20 minutes is a long time however we were playing in a text based format(thankfully) so you can imagine my shock when I check my phone after awhile to find 8 full scrolls of furry smut.
#36
My mother was an alcoholic growing up. I used to take her side in all the fights she had with my dad. When I was at an older age I realised she was using my dad. She had no job and my dad who was 64 was working his a*s off to pay for my sister, me and my parents. Then my dad said we didn't have enough money for something and basically my Mum said "So.. We're poor?" My parents later split up and she found another boyfriend almost instantly. She still didn't have a job. So I figured out that she used my dad, then was using her boyfriend. Yeah, it was messed the up.Edit: Thank you everyone for all the love and support. I hope you get through your sad times too!
#37
My ex was severely depressed and drinking at my place one night. I own a lot of knives and guns because 'Murica. I wanted to make my bedroom as safe as possible so I was taking everything pointy, shooty, or ligature like and giving it to my roommate to keep safe as I would stay with my ex in my room, bathroom was attached. I handed off stuff to my roommate and heard a commotion in my room, found my ex on the edge of my bed with the gun I kept at bedside. It had been the last thing I needed to get past him and didn't think he knew about. He went from pointing it at himself to pointing it at me. I talked him down from that and told him I wouldn't call the cops if he stayed in the room until sober and called a therapist in the morning. He physically fought me to try to get out but was drunk and tired and eventually laid in bed and cried himself to sleep. I slept by the door until morning. I woke up covered in bruises to a nightmare about him shooting me.I recognized he was sick but also he was capable and willing to kill me. I never saw him the same way again, we no longer speak. There had been a lot of red flags before this point but I was far too blind and far too lonely to recognize them.
#38
Had a really great friend in high school. He was cool but he’s always be trying to sell stuff to people in the hallways, like video games or pocket knives or sunglasses. After over a year of being friends with him he came over to my house to hang out and when he left a bunch of my favorite video games were missing. I realized what was happening, and I had plans on forgiving him if he just fessed up and apologized. Instead he got super defensive and angry, and I instantly lost any respect I had for the guy.
Image credits: br34kf4s7
#39
There’s an older woman at work who seemed pretty ok. Then I overheard her talking about her toddler granddaughter, saying that she’s “a little hooker” and “shakes her booty at any man” and that sexualizing of a kid creeped me right out.Edit: spelling
#40
When my mom defended her daughter's rapist (who was my mom's then fiance) and told us not to tell anyone it happened. Yes, I contacted the proper authorities. Yes, he is in the courts and going to be imprisoned.EDIT: For those of you who want the full story, here is the first post I wrote about it in May: [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/brx6b4/update_the_fiance_33_of_my_mom_34_raped_my_14yo/)
#41
Was at my wife's family Christmas gift exchange. My wife is estranged from her direct family, so this was all of the uncles, aunties and cousins. There were multiple nieces and nephews running around having a good time. We all agreed to a white elephant exchange for the adults so we didn't have to buy a lot of gifts, we did that the night before and did the gifts for the kids in there morning.Morning rolls around and all the kids are opening gifts... except my son. None of those entitled a*s hats got him anything. He sat there and watched everyone else open multiple gifts and it broke my heart to see him sitting there with nothing. F**k those people right up their stupid a******s.
Image credits: ChefSandman
#42
My childhood friend he lived pretty close to me and seemed like a nice dude until he stole my GoldenEye and moved to Minnesota. F**k you Derrick!
Image credits: cdxxlxixdclxvi
#43
When I told my mom we were adopting a baby, she asked,"Don't you want to have a real baby?" I'm adopted.#44
In a split-second.My husband (at the time) and I were physically separated. I was pregnant with our second child. And *I* was under the impression we were working things out to ultimately get our family back together in the same household (that whole part is a long, long story).
Needless to say ... my ex-husband DID NOT come to the birth of our son. And his mother had to tell him when I went into labor and had the child. When he finally called me (hours upon hours later) he asked me what I named our son ... when he found out I did NOT name him a "junior" but instead gave him his OWN name that didn't have any relation to my ex-husband or his family ... well, he told me it was a 'gay-a*s Christian name for someone not even a Christian' then hung up on me and refused to answer for days.
On top of the total disrespect and display of selfish pouting...a family member finally disclosed to me after my son was born that he (my ex-husband) spent the entire year milking me for money to finance an affair that resulted in him; moving in with the chick, getting her name tattooed on his arm and using MY money to pay for groceries and other household essentials.
After all that ... I was done. I called him out on his affair which shocked him and resulted in him freaking out and stalking me for weeks to "find out who told me!!!??!" I filed for divorce while on maternity leave and cut his a*s all the way off. Of course he tried arguing that by NOT helping him I was hurting my kids 'cause, you know, according to him .. how was he supposed to help his kids if I didn't first help him (with money, his car payment, insurance, etc.)?!? UGH. Such a low-life bum!
And in one split second ...I despised everything he was, would be and had been ...I wish him ill-will and the truest form of karma. I don't 'feel sorry' for him and I have zero concern for his life.
#45
1990’s China. I (white teen) get invited to a girls birthday party out in the burbs. I get to the party and find out there is another white dude there. Wow. In those days that is like 1 in a million chance. We play the name game and find out not only are we from the same country and area, but in fact went to the same tiny elementary school together. After about 10 minutes of "wow, we have so much in common" he drops that he is mostly there to bang the girls and mostly tries to bang the married ones because they are less likely to want to want to stick around. F****r. Back then, getting caught having a n affair with a foreigner was instant family/social death and a likely mandatory 7 year sentence for "prostitution".#46
"you're not like other black people, you're smart."And that's how I lost all sexual interest in a 10/10 Russian chick.
#47
I had a friend a while back. Neat guy. Liked videogames, anime. One of the few people willing to go in on a pen and paper rpg. Didnt interact with him outside of these sorts of events.One time, a bunch of us went to grab dinner before seeing a limited run anime movie. This guy special orders absolutely everything. Wont pick something on the menu. (standard grill fair) doesnt just ask for special order, DEMANDS it. Calls the waitress names and is just a total d**k. When I confronted him about it he started shouting and making a huge scene in the restaurant. The rest of the night was massively awkward. After that, I just ghosted him.
People who treat others poorly like that have no place in my life. You can tell the character of a person based on how they treat someone they dont have to be kind or nice to.
#48
Ex and I dated off and on for 5 years. Birth control failed and I wound up pregnant. The minute I told him he completely changed - called me every name in the book. Threatened to beat the sh*t out of me so I would miscarry. After he ordered me to abort/adopt her out I said that I wanted to keep her but would leave his name off the birth certificate. He said "No, if you have her then I want her. I'll fight you for her and make your life miserable." And even though she's a teenager, he's still trying to get full custody and take her away.#49
Was dating a girl for a few months and things were going great until somehow Jews came up in conversation. She went full 'Jews control the world' and wouldn't accept that non-jews take any responsibility for anything that ever went wrong in the ME.I just saw her in a whole new light.
#50
I loved my aunt with all my heart and i had a genuine connection with my uncle. That all changed when he murdered her so that she wouldn't report him to the police. He killed himself 3 days later because he knew they would find out it was him. I just wish i could've been the one to kill him.#51
I worked for a small company, for the first few years my boss and I got along really well to the point that we would eat dinner together regularly, I hung out with his son quite a bit, we even vacationed together twice. We went really well together, I was good at what he wasn’t and he was good at what I wasn’t. Over those years we were able to really grow the company to the point that we needed to grow. We had two ladies in the office that were family to the boss, one was an 80 year old woman and the other was her granddaughter who was grossly incompetent. The only reason the granddaughter was there was because she had never been able to hold a job anywhere else. One night while I’m eating dinner with my boss he comes in and has this whole pitch about how he wants to bring my wife onboard and let her run our marketing and kind of fill in the gaps on what the secretary was supposed to be doing but wasn’t because of laziness. Offered to pay her more money than what she was making, said she could work from home most of the time. Sounded great. First day she works the secretary has a huge problem with her being there because she had a complex about someone coming in and doing more than her. Her and the grandma both are rude, the secretary posts very thinly veiled comments on Facebook directed at my wife, she even lied and said my wife tried opening charge accounts up to make personal purchases. While all this was happening my boss never said a word to intervene, he simply let it happen. My wife worked there less than 2 months before she couldn’t take it anymore and had to leave, rightfully so. And my boss let it all happen even though it was his idea to bring her onboard. I went from having a deep respect for that man and considered him a father figure to not even being able to stand to watch him chew his food.#52
When my ex told me that she was cheating on me.That type of betrayal hits you hard, especially in this case because she was one of my closest friends before we started dating.
Edit: Just to clarify a bit, a guy I befriended when visiting her at college sent me a Facebook message after hanging out because he felt bad since apparently she didn't even try to hide it there and he thought I deserved better. When I asked her about it was when she finally told me. She didn't just decide to tell me out of the goodness of her heart, she was just caught and was tired of lying.
#53
Well... when i found out my crush is actually racist against romanians, chinese, and so on.. and that she is very different from what i expected her to be..Edit: sorry just a grammar fix.
#54
Partner of 3 years broke up with me via text while I was at work... I lost my job by leaving work immediately to go home (a complete wreck) to discover he had given his friends a months notice so they all helped him move, and I was literally the last one to know. When he left suddenly like this, he had in his account the money I had raised for charity by shaving my head because of my father's terminal illness. Went from upset to level 1,000 rage as soon as I realised this.Edit: wow I didn't really expect this to get much attention (thanks for the silver)
To answer questions...
I am in Australia, I was a casual worker for a photography business, when I read the text I told my boss through tears that I had to go immediately. I left before being asked questions. They tried to call me a few times but I was too upset to try and explain. I was not put back on the roster after this and can understand why, the "losing my job" part of this story is the part that hurt the least really but seems to be the part everyone is focused on. No, it was not an emergency that I needed to leave for, but after the text my ex would not respond at all and I needed answers as to what was happening because this came out of nowhere. By the time I got home I only just managed to get there in time to actually speak to him about what was going on.
No I never got the money back, I contacted police who said that because I had it in his account (because bills automatically came from my account and I didn't want any of the $2,000 taken out) it wasn't something they could do anything about. It was raised independently so it's not something that I can contact the charity over either.
No this was not an abusive relationship, on his part or mine, and no I did not deserve to be left suddenly like this. As for why he had a whole plan on how to leave in place before doing it and why he waited until I was at work, all I can say is I guess he knew how upset I would be to find out he suddenly didn't want to be around anymore. I was in the middle of a very rough patch and already handling things badly, I think he didn't want to face the results of what he wanted to do so he kept it secret and avoided dealing with me in person.
I am doing much better now, the thing that still hurts is not that it ended so suddenly and badly but that he took that money- it took me two years to raise it and felt like the only thing I could do for my terminally ill father.
#55
Two leap to kind.Guy I was friends with at school. We hung out a lot, but I didn’t drink or anything, so it was usually gaming and stuff.
We arranged a meet-up at mine. He sent me a text saying “see you at 7:30” (about 45 minutes later). He never turned up, I texted, called for a while, then shrugged. Assumed some emergency had come up and I’d hear from him later or the next day.
Never heard from him again. Only interaction we’ve had since was bumping into him in the street. I got a “how you doing, it’s been ages”. I just said “yeah, last time we spoke you said “see you in 45””. He got a bit embarrassed looking and admitted that another guy he was friends with (who I couldn’t stand) had turned up at his door after the text and gone “wanna go clubbing?”. And he’d gone. He didn’t even apologise, literally told me that going out and getting drunk was the more fun choice.
Now I concede, I wasn’t the most outgoing fun type. Clubs are my nightmare. But I always tried to be a good friend. Hell, one time when we were 16 my parents drove us to a hospital 45 minutes away and gave us taxi money to get back at 11pm because his girlfriend had tried to overdose, and his parents refused to take him or give him the cash. But apparently it’s better than ghost me in favour of the alcohol.
I would have been pissed but decided it wasn’t worth the effort and just carried on walking.
The other was a jackass I went to uni with. I made friends with him in the first year. Seemed an ok guy, similar interests. He tended to overplay his epilepsy to get stuff he probably wasn’t entitled to, but that wasn’t my business.
Moved in with him, his fiancé, and another friend from out course.
Worst mistake I made. He was a pig, didn’t pay his rent and lied that he had, stole, literally left a full pot of rice and another of curry sauce on the oven he left for 6 weeks over summer (the other guy and I were a week gone by then). I came back to more flies than I’ve ever seen in one place (and before I switched, I’d studied forensic science).
The tipping point was when I booted my PC and found he’d put a bios password on my PC so I couldn’t turn it on to get my assignments. He blocked my calls, and when my mother called him to get round the block, he hung up on her and text me “don’t set your b***h on me”.
I ended up moving out that day, called the police (which spurred him to suddenly text me the password), and reported him to the uni for breach of standards. I don’t think they did much but I didn’t care by then.
The worst bit was that about a year after that, the other housemate, who he was just about on speaking terms with, took his own life. The jackass couldn’t even be bothered to show up to the funeral (then again, no one from the uni did, no message of condolence to his mother from the staff, nothing).
#56
When my friend lied and went behind my back to date the guy I was interested in, and then started sleeping around behind his back. I wasn't interested in dating him, I just had a crush, and if she'd told me, I'd be fine with it. But lying to the both of us, straight to our faces, and asking the both of us to not tell the other one was f****d up (she told me about all her tinder hookups and asked me to keep it a secret because she 'didn't want anyone else to know'). I mean, I had my suspicions of what was going on, but once it was confirmed that she'd even lied to me about what had happened, it was straight over for me.You don't lie to me and expect me to stick around.
Edit: YES, I told him about her sleeping around, once he told me the truth about their relationship. I didn't tell him before because I didn't know for sure they were dating behind my back. :) I'm not about that starting-up-drama-without-proof life <3
#57
I’m so late, but I have a story that isn’t if the cheating variety and made me lose any respect for three people at once.Late high school years. A “friend” in our group had invited everyone to hang out at his parent’s house. We were supposed to agree on a time the day of, but people weren’t answering my calls or messages or were really vague. It was almost seven pm which was a couple of hours later than I’d figured so I decided to drive over. Sent one guy a message saying no one’s really answering so I’ll just go ring the “friend’s” doorbell.
So all of a sudden, the “friend” calls me and says he was caught up in something and the whole thing might be off, he’ll let me know. Thing is, he called me when I was just parking in front of his house, and had a clear view of almost everyone in my group in his house. I let the call go on for several minutes watching him motion people to be quiet, doing the talking hand “yadda yadda” gesture etc. without letting him know I was watching him, until the dude finally spotted my car. He then - very obviously - told everyone to hide because he thought I’d just pulled up, and one guy who also pretended to be my friend actually hit the ground together with his girlfriend to avoid being seen from the window.
So those three people - two “friends” and the gf of one - I have absolutely zero respect for. Also, I have nothing to do with any of them anymore, so that’s nice.
Then again I also very clearly saw one real friend tell the “friend” off. He also called me immediately and said to wait up, he’d rather hang out with me than those a******s. 20 years later we’re still very close and effectively formed a new group of friends. So big silver lining.